Lesson 5

Personal Pronoun Usage and Show – Don’t Tell!

Students often arrive at college with strict lists of writing rules in mind. Often these are rather strict lists of absolutes, including rules both stated and unstated:

We get these ideas primarily from teachers and other students. Often these ideas are derived from good advice but have been turned into unnecessarily strict rules in our minds. The problem is that overly strict rules about writing can prevent us, as writers, from being flexible enough to learn to adapt to the writing styles of different fields, ranging from the sciences to the humanities, and different kinds of writing projects, ranging from reviews to research.

So when it suits your purpose as a scholar, you will probably need to break some of the old rules, particularly the rules that prohibit first person pronouns and personal experience. Although there are certainly some instructors who think that these rules should be followed (so it is a good idea to ask directly), many instructors in all kinds of fields are finding reason to depart from these rules. Avoiding “I” can lead to awkwardness and vagueness, whereas using it in your writing can improve style and clarity. Using personal experience, when relevant, can add concreteness and even authority to writing that might otherwise be vague and impersonal.
Because college writing situations vary widely in terms of stylistic conventions, tone, audience, and purpose, the trick is deciphering the conventions of your writing context and determining how your purpose and audience affect the way you write. The rest of this handout is devoted to strategies for figuring out when to use “I” and personal experience.

EFFECTIVE USES OF “I”:

In many cases, using the first person pronoun can improve your writing, by offering the following benefits:

DECIDING WHETHER “I” WILL HELP YOUR STYLE

Here is an example of how using the first person can make the writing clearer and more assertive:

Original example: In studying American popular culture of the 1980s, the question of to what degree materialism was a major characteristic of the cultural milieu was explored.

Better example using first person: In our study of American popular culture of the 1980s, we explored the degree to which materialism characterized the cultural milieu.

The original example sounds less emphatic and direct than the revised version; using “I” allows the writers to avoid the convoluted construction of the original and clarifies who did what.

Here is an example in which alternatives to the first person would be more appropriate:

Original example: As I observed the communication styles of first-year Carolina women, I noticed frequent use of non-verbal cues.

Better example: A study of the communication styles of first-year Carolina women revealed frequent use of non-verbal cues.

In the original example, using the first person grounds the experience heavily in the writer’s subjective, individual perspective, but the writer’s purpose is to describe a phenomenon that is in fact objective or independent of that perspective. Avoiding the first person here creates the desired impression of an observed phenomenon that could be reproduced and also creates a stronger, clearer statement.

Here’s another example in which an alternative to first person works better:

Original example: As I was reading this study of medieval village life, I noticed that social class tended to be clearly defined.

Better example: This study of medieval village life reveals that social class tended to be clearly defined.

Although you may run across instructors who find the casual style of the original example refreshing, they are probably rare. The revised version sounds more academic and renders the statement more assertive and direct.

Here’s a final example:

Original example: I think that Aristotle’s ethical arguments are logical and readily applicable to contemporary cases, or at least it seems that way to me.

Better example: Aristotle’s ethical arguments are logical and readily applicable to contemporary cases.

In this example, there is no real need to announce that that statement about Aristotle is your thought; this is your paper, so readers will assume that the ideas in it are yours.

Transitions

Transitional words and phrases connect and relate ideas, sentences, and paragraphs. They assist in the logical flow of ideas as they signal the relationship between sentences and paragraphs. In prose, the material is supported and conditioned not only by the ordering of the material (its position) but by connectives which signal order, relationship and movement.

Some of the more commonly used connectives are listed below. Note especially how these connections function to develop, relate, connect and move ideas.

1. To signal addition of ideas

and, also, besides, further, furthermore, too, moreover, in addition, then, of equal importance, equally important, another

2. To signal time

next, afterward, finally, later, last, lastly, at last, now, subsequently, then, when, soon, thereafter, after a short time, the next week (month, day, etc.), a minute later, in the meantime, meanwhile, on the following day, at length, ultimately, presently

3. To signal order or sequence

first, second, (etc.), finally, hence, next, then, from here on, to begin with, last of all, after, before, as soon as, in the end, gradually

4. To signify space and place

above, behind, below, beyond, here, there, to the right (left), nearby, opposite, on the other side, in the background, directly ahead, along the wall, as you turn right, at the tip, across the hall, at this point, adjacent to

5. To signal an example

for example, to illustrate, for instance, to be specific, such as, moreover, furthermore, just as important, similarly, in the same way

6. To show results

as a result, hence, so, accordingly, as a consequence, consequently, thus, since, therefore, for this reason, because of this

7. To signal purpose

to this end, for this purpose, with this in mind, for this reason, for these reasons

8. To signal comparisons

like, in the same (like) manner or way, similarly

9. To indicate contrast

but, in contrast, conversely, however, still, nevertheless, nonetheless, yet, and yet, on the other hand, of course, on the contrary, or, in spite of this, actually, a year ago, now, notwithstanding, for all that, strangely enough, ironically

10. To signal alternatives,  exceptions, and objections

although, though, while, despite, to be sure, it is true, true, I grant, granted, I admit, admittedly, doubtless, I concede, regardless

11. To dispute

it isn’t true that, people are wrong who say that, deny that, be that as it may, by the same token, no doubt, we often hear it said, many people claim, many people suppose, it used to be thought, in any case

12. To intensify

above all, first and foremost, importantly, again, to be sure, indeed, in fact, as a matter of fact, as I have said, as has been noted

13. To summarize or repeat

in summary, to sum up, to repeat, briefly, in short, finally, on the whole, therefore, as I have said, in conclusion, as you can see

Additionally, pronouns act as connectives when they are used to refer to a noun in the preceding sentences. Repetition of key words and phrases and the use of synonyms which echo important words both serve to establish connections with previous sentences.